Nathan – Boys and Girls Club of Lawrence

Nathan

“Before I came to Boys & Girls Club, I was just at home playing video games which got boring. I got in trouble for playing too much and my grades weren’t very good. So my mom said I can come to BGC or I can walk home and do nothing"

Fun Pic
Nathan Lawrence Free State High School

What grade were you in when you started coming to Boys & Girls Club?
“I was in 8th grade, so the Teen Center is my first experience in BGC. I am a freshman at Free State. I didn’t go to Boys & Girls Club in elementary school.”

What did you think of it when you first started?
“I was kind of nervous at first, but once I got used to my surroundings I started to like it pretty quick.”

Are you new to Lawrence?
“No, this is my ninth year in Lawrence. I was adopted when I was 9, and that’s how many years I have been here. But I’ve been to four different schools. I was in Topeka for six years, then I moved to Concordia and then I moved here. That’s when I was adopted by the family I’m with now, and that’s why I came here.”

After moving so often, did Boys & Girls Club help you make friends?
“I would say so. I didn’t know who was going to be there, but then I saw that my friend Clay was there. That helped a lot.”

Were you able to meet your biological mom and dad before you were adopted?
“I don’t know who they are. I met them maybe once. I see my actual dad sometimes because I was adopted into the same family. My adoptive parents were there when I was born – they were my aunt and uncle until they adopted me. I didn’t know my family at all except my brother. He’s the one thing I miss about my family. He was living in Missouri because they moved there, then he went back to Concordia. He left to go back to school, but didn’t tell anyone. He’s 18 and I’m almost 16. He left probably a month or two ago. He was living with my actual dad, but apparently our mom left. I think I saw my mom when I was five, maybe? I also have a sister, but she moved out. When she came back it had been so long since I had seen her I didn’t even recognize her.”

Who took care of you when you were little?
“When I was born my real parents didn’t want me. So after they gave me up, I went to live with my grandparents. They took me in until I was 9, and they couldn’t take care of me anymore because they were getting older. They were having a hard time keeping track of me. So they contacted my other relatives and asked if they would take me in. They said they would definitely take me in because they thought I was a really nice and cool kid.”

You have dealt with so much at such a young age – do you realize that?
“I don’t really think about it. I used to talk to people like a therapist, because I used to get so angry. I just went to see them, and they asked me if I cared about not seeing my real dad. I said, ‘Not really, because they didn’t care about me so why should I care about them?’ But I do care about them some, just not enough to where I’d want to live with them. I mean, I’ve seen my real mother once in 15 years for probably 30 minutes.”

What is life like now with your adoptive parents?
“They’re really fun and enjoyable, and they can be strict sometimes. Sometimes I think they can be helicopter parents, but I know they are just protecting me and trying to keep me safe. They show me how the real world actually treats people. I think they are a blast.”

Did they help you understand why there has to be rules at school and at the Teen Center?
“Before I came here, I was told that I need to say please and thank you. Growing up, we had rules about having manners and being a nice person. I like to joke around and make fun of my friends, but I would never take it too far.”

With a story like yours, does the BGC give you space where you can relax and just be a freshman in high school?
“Yeah! I get to chill with my friends, and I get to do my homework – even though I don’t like homework. My parents said for this semester I have to raise my grades, so Boys & Girls Club helps me with that. At one point, I will admit, I was put on probation and if I didn’t do the work I’d have to go to court. But I got it together and they let me go early and got rid of my case.”

Do you think, even if it’s been the worst day, that you’re always accepted at the Teen Center? That people here will always have your back?
“I would say that because if I’m mad, someone at the Teen Center can make me smile. Over the summer I met Raeley and we have been hanging out ever since. I would come here after football and see her and she would always smile at me and that would make me smile.” 

Who was your first friend from Boys & Girls Club? Still friends?
“It would be a tough one between Clay and Raeley. My first day at the Boys & Girls Club I saw Clay and said to him, ‘I feel like I remember you,’ and he said he remembered me, too. Then he asked about my mom and said she taught him in preschool. I also remembered seeing him in preschool. We hadn’t seen each other since preschool until I came to BGC that day. We became friends right away.”

When you won the BGC Member of the Summer award – you were so humble. How did that make you feel to know all of your Club family and staff voted for you?
“It shocked me, because I was kind of new and it was my first summer. I was just so surprised and happy that everyone voted for me.”

Since you’re almost 16 and in high school, you could probably go home by yourself if you wanted to, right? What makes you want to come here?
“Before I came to Boys & Girls Club, I was just at home playing video games which got boring. I got in trouble for playing too much and my grades weren’t very good. So my mom said I can come to BGC or I can walk home and do nothing, so I’d rather come here. I thought maybe I would meet a friend and I was right.”

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you stopped coming here after school?
“I would probably be sitting at home doing nothing. Or I would have to get a job, my parents are always asking if I want to go to the Club, and I tell them I’d rather come here then go home alone.” 

If you could pick a favorite spot in this whole place – what is it?
“It depends on what I’m doing and what I’m into at the time. Most of the time I’m at the 9 square corner or at the TV or outside on the basketball court. Or wherever Clay and Raeley are.”

Do you have a favorite BGC staff member?
“I have a lot of favorites because I get used to a lot of people. Before Ms. Kassadie, it was Mr. Dee. He played in the CFL in Canada. We used to mess around and we became friends like the instant I saw him. He was pretty cool. But now, I’d probably say my favorite is Ms. Kassadie because she jokes around with me. She always calls me Nathaniel and I get triggered but she always makes me smile.” 

Who helps you the most with your homework?
“It depends on who’s around. Anybody would help me, and I would let anyone help me. If they didn’t know, I would just go into the computer lab and look it up.”

If someone tried to tell you Boys & Girls Club was lame – what would you tell them?
“When I was younger I used to be the kid that picked on other kids. When I looked back on it, I would feel really sorry about it and I’d ask for their forgiveness and try to become friends. If someone was doing it to me about coming to BGC, I would be honest with them and tell them I want to go and I have nothing else to do. If I have bad grades, I can’t hangout with my friends so I come here so I can do my homework and work on things. I can do anything here. Like right now I’m making something for my mom. It’s a Kansas City Chiefs logo made out of metal, and I have a picture frame that I made. I made it three times at school and each time someone has taken it, so I had to make it for a fourth time at the Teen Center so that it would be safe.”

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